Julie McCoy, please report to the Lido Deck.

My children left for a mid-winter youth retreat on Sunday morning at 8:00am. This is the first time both of my children have been to camp at the same time since Jamie was in the 5th grade. I was looking forward to the time alone and looking fondly toward summer when both would go to summer camp together.

Here's the thing: I'm missing them like crazy! I've thought long and hard about why this might be the case and I've come up with a reason that makes sense to me.

Not too long ago, my counselor (really a therapist but counselor sounds less scary, less crazy-Karen) told me I had "control issues". I put her in a half-nelson and demanded she take it back. No, really, I laughed because this was NOT news to me (or anyone who knows me well, actually). Hey Dr. $150/hr....tell me something I don't know like WHY I have control issues....but that's a blog for another day, isn't it?

Let's get down to the nitty-gritty, shall we? I'd like to tell you the reason I miss them is because I love them so much (which I do) or that they are so much fun to be around (which they are) but I think the real reason is that when they are away, they are NO LONGER UNDER MY CONTROL! Wait....I need to take a few deep breaths...........okay, moving on.

One of the rules for this retreat was no electronic devices of any kind - no cell phones, no iPods, no PlayStations. Seemed reasonable to me until I had not been able to find out what was going on with my children for a full 48 hours. This is not acceptable to those of us who are cruise directors in the lives of those we love. If they don't come back soon, I may need to go the mall and interact with random teenagers. And by interact I mean question their choice in clothes, push their too-long hair out of their eyes and interrogate them relentlessly about their friends.

By my calculations, I have around 7 months to convince my kids that I would be a great summer camp counselor. After all, who's going to decide who sits where on the bus and make sure everyone has a friend if not me?